“This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don’t Touch It” is a comic horror novel written by Jason Pargin under the pseudonym of David Wong.
It is the second book in the John Dies at the End series.
this book has been described as hilarious, terrifying, engaging and wrenching.
Here are some of the handpicked quotes from the book This Book Is Full of Spiders.
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This Book Is Full of Spiders Quotes by David Wong
“He gave me a look that would have made cancer apologize, then ran like hell.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“You know what the scariest part is about people like him? Everything he’s doing makes perfect sense in his own mind.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“Okay, can somebody quickly just summarize for the shotgun department who it’s okay and not okay to shoot?” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“I am not the star of a zombie movie. I am the guy in the background who gets eaten in the first montage.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“We moved in silence for a moment and I said, “How did we screw this all up so badly, John?”
He shook his head. “We always find a way.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“John. I would ask you what you are doing, but I fear you would actually tell me.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“Our true fear of the zombie was never that its bite would turn us into one of them. Our fear is that we are already zombies.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“The English language needs a word for that feeling you get when you badly need help, but there is no one who you can call because you’re not popular enough to have friends, not rich enough to have employees, and not powerful enough to have lackeys.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
Also Read: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway Quotes by Susan Jeffers and The Doors of Perception Quotes by Aldous Huxley.
Best This Book Is Full of Spiders Quotes
“You save your love for the things that can love you back.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“Your ‘let’s remain calm and stay put’ speech would be a lot more convincing if you weren’t giving it in front of a pile of burning skeletons.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“I’ve developed a pretty good survival system involving nothing more than mental alertness exercises, positive thinking and amphetamines.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“There are two types of people on planet Earth, Batman and Iron Man. Batman has a secret identity, right? So Bruce Wayne has to walk around every second of every day knowing that if somebody finds out his secret, his family is dead, his friends are dead, everyone he loves gets tortured to death by costumed supervillains. And he has to live with the weight of that secret every day. But not Tony Stark, he’s open about who he is. He tells the world he’s Iron Man, he doesn’t give a shit. He doesn’t have that shadow hanging over him, he doesn’t have to spend energy building up those walls of lies around himself. You’re one or the other – either you’re one of those people who has to hide your real self because it would ruin you if it came out, because of your secret fetishes or addictions or crimes, or you’re not one of those people. And the two groups aren’t even living in the same universe.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“A realization washed over her in that cold, dark space: this was how virtually all living things born on earth have died – with teeth tearing through their muscle and bones. We humans have computers and soap and houses but it doesn’t change the fact that everything that walks is nothing but food for something else.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“He made the engine growl and told the headlights to fuck the night.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“Damn it! I knew she was a monster! John! Amy! Listen! Guard your buttholes.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
Quotes from This Book Is Full of Spiders
“The zombie looks like a man, walks like a man, eats and otherwise functions fully, yet is devoid of the spark. It represents the nagging doubt that lays deep in the heart of even the most zealous believer: behind all of your pretty songs and stained glass, this is what you really are. Shambling meat. Our true fear of the zombie was never that its bite would turn us into one of them. Our fear is that we are already zombies.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“Falling in love with a house or a car or a pair of shoes, it was a dead end. You save your love for the things that can love you back.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“Nobody involved in a conflict thinks they’re the villain.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“I wrapped up the remaining half burrito and tossed it into the trash can. Molly watched this act of wastefulness with an expression like she had just seen her entire family die in a fire.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“War is about remaking the world to suit the whims of some powerful group over the whims of some other powerful group. The dead are just the sparks that fly from the metal as they grind it down.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
Famous This Book Is Full of Spiders Quotes
“My shame circuits burned out from overuse years ago.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can’t fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it “sir” because it would be the dominant species on the planet. None of us would leave the house unless a Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider said it was okay” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“You know how sometimes when you’re drifting off to sleep you feel that jolt, like you were falling and caught yourself at the last second? It’s nothing to be concerned about, it’s usually just the parasite adjusting its grip.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“You are now aware that your lower jaw has weight, and that it requires effort for you to hold it up. Good evening.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“Tried to escape, to block out the fact that I was being eaten alive by arachnids. For some reason the only thing I could replace it with was the image of being eaten by tiny clowns.” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
“Trust me, we need it. Or rather, we need it to not wind up in the hands of somebody else. Oh, wait! Damn it!” “What?” “It just occurred to me that I could have written Dave a message on a wall using my own shit!” ~ David Wong (This Book Is Full of Spiders).
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